You know you want it. So here it is.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Not Classic and Certainly Not Rock

Okay, can we all agree to ban the following bands and/or songs from all Classic Rock radio stations? They all suck kangaroo balls.
I bought a satellite radio in hopes of escaping these bands, no luck.

Loggins and Messina
Yes
Ah, how about No.
Moody Blues
Knights in White Satin is the gayest song ever.
Steely Dan
Pretentious prog crap. Feel free to shoot anyone who likes this band in the face. I'll tell the cops you were with me the entire night. Deal?

Electric Light Orchestra
Supertramp
Starship
Styx
REO Speedwagon
Thin Lizzy
Sure, Jail Break is okay, but AC/DC's Jail Break kicks its ass.

Allan Parson Project
Look, I don't care if this guy was the mastermind of Pink Floyd's Wall of Sound, his solo stuff is God-awful!
Rick Derringer
Have you seen the Fidelity Investments commercial he is in?
Oh man, he must be suicidal. I can't believe it's not on Youtube! Oh wait, nobody over 25 posts to Youtube, never mind.

Songs
Amanda - Boston
Beth - Kiss
I've got 10 bucks that says that neither Amanda or Beth or in the picture anymore and that the respective bands crindge whenever those songs are played.
Funkytown - Lipps
The only version that should played is Towlie's famous version seen below.

My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
George, I don't care if you are a former Beatle, get your religion of my radio, this isn't a gospel station.
Norman, you wasted one of the greatest guitar riffs ever to ramble on and on about Jesus.
Even JC is pissed about this, wishing that you saved that riff for song about partying, drugs, loose women, or a least some type of narly anti-war protest.

Blinded by the Light - Manfred Man
Yes. the famously awful "wrapped up like a douche" song.

Lunatic Fridge - Red Rider
Never has a more blatant and more awful rip off Pink Floyd ever been attempted.
To make it worse, Red Rider's front man was Tom Cochrane. Yes, the "Life is a Highway" guy.

Radio Ga ga and Bohemian Rapsody - Queen
I should have just put all of Queen under the bands section of this posting, but Fat Bottom Girls saves them. Actually though, Freddie Mercury probably wrote that song about fat bottom guys...(image burning into cerebral cortex). Okay, put Queen on the "bands" list.

Dream Weaver - Gary Wright
Lost the "Gayest....Song...Ever" world heaveyweight title to Knights in White Satin in a 15 round grudge match.

Friday, October 20, 2006

You Go Squish Now!

Ummmm....somebody here wasn't paying attention.
Let's see if you can figure out who it is.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Git Out ' The Way!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Proof that the World is Evil...and Hilarious

A coach paying an 8 year old to bean an autistic teammate so he couldn't play in a playoff game. (I've got nothing to add here, for once I am speechless).

The coach, while attempting to speak in his own defense, apparently confessed to the appalling act by smartly stating; "I didn't do nothing!"

Perhaps the funniest part is that the 8 year old beaned the autistic kid not once, but twice....in the ear and in the groin.
(Must....contain....laughter.)





Come on, like you don't want to huzz a baseball at his head.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

No He Wasn't.

This is yet another example of why I dislike religion and religious people.
This is a story about a survivor of the awful Cory Lidle plane crash in New York. Apparently this women was in the same room that the plane hit, but managed to escape.

Her Brother-in-law is quoted as saying;

"I'm telling you it's an absolute miracle that she's alive. I honestly believe that God was sitting on her shoulder."

Really? Was He???
Riddle me this Batman, if God was sitting on her shoulder, then why the FUCK did an airplane hit her fucking bedroom??????

I'd bet that God was nowhere near the scene of this tragedy.









What's that? You have an itch?
WHERE'S YOUR MESSIAH NOW?!?!?!?!?!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Creepiest Commercial Ever!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Reason #113 Why You Need to get Satellite Radio

No more aggravating hack DJs like these guys.