Not Classic and Certainly Not Rock
Okay, can we all agree to ban the following bands and/or songs from all Classic Rock radio stations? They all suck kangaroo balls.
I bought a satellite radio in hopes of escaping these bands, no luck.
Loggins and Messina
Yes
Ah, how about No.
Moody Blues
Knights in White Satin is the gayest song ever.
Steely Dan
Pretentious prog crap. Feel free to shoot anyone who likes this band in the face. I'll tell the cops you were with me the entire night. Deal?
Electric Light Orchestra
Supertramp
Starship
Styx
REO Speedwagon
Thin Lizzy
Sure, Jail Break is okay, but AC/DC's Jail Break kicks its ass.
Allan Parson Project
Look, I don't care if this guy was the mastermind of Pink Floyd's Wall of Sound, his solo stuff is God-awful!
Rick Derringer
Have you seen the Fidelity Investments commercial he is in?
Oh man, he must be suicidal. I can't believe it's not on Youtube! Oh wait, nobody over 25 posts to Youtube, never mind.
Songs
Amanda - Boston
Beth - Kiss
I've got 10 bucks that says that neither Amanda or Beth or in the picture anymore and that the respective bands crindge whenever those songs are played.
Funkytown - Lipps
The only version that should played is Towlie's famous version seen below.
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
George, I don't care if you are a former Beatle, get your religion of my radio, this isn't a gospel station.
Norman, you wasted one of the greatest guitar riffs ever to ramble on and on about Jesus.
Even JC is pissed about this, wishing that you saved that riff for song about partying, drugs, loose women, or a least some type of narly anti-war protest.
Blinded by the Light - Manfred Man
Yes. the famously awful "wrapped up like a douche" song.
Lunatic Fridge - Red Rider
Never has a more blatant and more awful rip off Pink Floyd ever been attempted.
To make it worse, Red Rider's front man was Tom Cochrane. Yes, the "Life is a Highway" guy.
Radio Ga ga and Bohemian Rapsody - Queen
I should have just put all of Queen under the bands section of this posting, but Fat Bottom Girls saves them. Actually though, Freddie Mercury probably wrote that song about fat bottom guys...(image burning into cerebral cortex). Okay, put Queen on the "bands" list.
Dream Weaver - Gary Wright
Lost the "Gayest....Song...Ever" world heaveyweight title to Knights in White Satin in a 15 round grudge match.
From the sick and twisted mind of Beetle at 12:50 PM
4 Comments:
First and foremost I'd like to thank you for posting. Well played. Secondly, thank you for not throwing Journey on any of this list or I would have had to boycott your blog. And you play nice with Queen, ok? They rule. Haha. Get it? Oh.
11:56 AM
Good list. Real. Good. List.
12:00 PM
First of all, its "revved up like a Deuce" as in a Ford Deuce! I will waste time taking issue with a few points: DreamWeaver's underlying synth riffs were very hypnotic almost trance techno...too bad about the lyrics! FWIW, George H. was singing about Hari Krishna, not Jesus, and he actually got sued by the writers of the song he lifted the riff from, "He's So Fine-Doodlelang, Doodleang!"
Why do you always call songs that are wussy "gay"..I've no problem with Moody Blues, it is rather sad and touching (except for that spoken interlude!). Shoot yourself in the face about S. Dan..they ruled serious AOR in the 70s-who would you prefer instead? Yes had its moments-Roundabout, I've seen..people-but they were guilty of no more 70's excess than ELP, Elton John or other post glam bands. Supertramp kicks your ass across America (last tour in 83-they endured being the only band that could walk any street and not be recognized). Starship faded fast, but the earliest Marty Balin/Craig Chacquito work had moderate 'balls; Styx sucked shit, I'll give you that; REO was OREO, white man's poor black soul R%B=better live than on record. Thin Lizzy was noted for its leader's strange ethnicity...he was no Hendrix, but his raw edge of being a black Irishman showed he was putting his ____ into his songs. Alan Parsons had a few beautiful compositions-Time, Games People Play, Eye in the Sky (hook catchy all). Rick Derringer is cool with ads, as are more and more musicians'licensures, commercial tie ins and product endorsements! Amanda wasn't so bad once Sholtz's guitar solo ripped away the schmaltz-like so many V. Halen singles! Beth-look at it as an extremely refined Bob Ezrin song, tuned to the limits of the singer, however substantial-that itself must be an accomplishment. Finally, AC/DC's Jailbreak would be useful for the Simpsons Movie-overdrawn, almost funny, over and out.
1:39 PM
Oh, and lest I forget:
-It's "Nights" in white satin, not "Knights"!! Were you playing chess when you were writing?
-Funkytown is a riot in certain kids movies, usually with animatronic animals making moves off each other...can't you just let them be?
SORRY...somebody's got to put your blog out in the light!!
1:43 PM
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