More Annoying People at Work

I guess there really are quite a-many people who get under my skin in the office. If you didn't see part 1, just scroll down a little bit. Also, please feel free to add more annoying co-workers in the comments!



1. The disgruntled "I am smarter than everyone else" guy.

He has the answers to all the of company's woes. Upper management is composed of a "bunch of lying jack-offs" and everything would run smoother if people just listened to him. (It's of no consequence to this schlep that said company just posted a 1.7 billion Q1 profit).
Hey, I am sure you are chock full of great ideas, it's just too bad you are still a Customer Service Rep after 5 years of service, Copernicus.


2. The Cubicle Casanova

He usually is a little older and has been with the company longer than his co-workers. Therefore, here's not only suave, but he knows the lay of the land. At his desk you will find a tin of mentos and a bottle of L.A. Look hair gel. He is always willing to share his wisdom with the young interns, and is likely to have a wager with the Blue Shirts (see below) that he'll bag Janie the ditz after the office X-mas party.
The only problem is....he is still a Customer Service Rep after 5 years of service.




"Hey there.....you're the new girl Sandy right? Let's me show you around the office. That smell? That's the smell of desire young lady."















3. The Desk Sleeper

I don't care if you are at lunch or on one of your scheduled breaks, wake the FUCK up Costanza.
This isn't a fucking motor lodge.




Rise and shine Harold, and tell Kumar to score me some more of that killer gange.








4. The Blue Shirt Crew.

These are the retarded, far less successful cousins to the striped shirt guy.

Look, all guys wear the blue collared button down shirt with khakis every now and again. It's a solid look. But if it's the only thing you ever wear, and the only thing all your buddies at work ever wear ...well....I....I..ummm....I....you know what? Never mind. I can even think of anything insulting enough to say to you.





The Blue Shirts work hard and play hard!









5. The guy from out of town who roots for all the wrong sports teams.

Boy this fucker is annoying. Always in your office first thing in the AM to laugh at you after another humiliating defeat.
However, whenever his team losses, you can't find this guy anywhere. It's like living in an enemy city has enabled him to develop chameleon-like abilities to camouflage himself.

Asshole.





I was going to put a picture of an annoying Yankees fan here, but I decided to go in this direction instead. It just felt right.














6. The person who has to fill you in on all their medical issues.

Excuse me, but I don't remember asking for a half hour dissertation of your gastro-intestinal infection. Mind if I finish my lunch now?


7. The displaced surfer dude.

He had to quit his job at Boardz N Bladez because it wasn't covering the rent for his beach side loft. So, he opted for an office job because, "how hard could it be dude?"
Now, this isn't a bad guy to have in your corner because he usually has good drugs and the office hoochies gravitate towards him, but relying on him to actually accomplish anything? Not a chance.


8. The flaky out-of-touch boss.

Usually a successful entrepreneur type who just can't relate to his/her employees.
A conversation with him might sound like;

Flake Boss: "Yeeeaahhh, for vacation we spent a month hiking in the Andes with only the contents of our back packs and our wits to get us by. We lived for 2 weeks with a native tribe whose village was located 10,000 feet above sea level. By the time we left, they had accepted us as one of their own. It was really a challenging, mind expanding trip. What did you do on your vacation?"

Me: "Ummmm I hit Motorcycle Week at Laconia."






Yeah, I bet I had more fun though!













9. The Bride-to-be

The self centered bitch spends hours of company time ogling wedding catalogs, constantly quizzes her co-worker on different invitation types, and waves her ring around just waiting, like a hungry lioness crouching in the brush, for the next victim to ask about it.
Her wedding absolutely needs to the best..event...ever! Especially better than her "best friend's" (AKA, whore-skank she's always in competition with) was last year. It's just too bad that her fiance only bought her the ring to shut her fucking yap and has a VIP membership to Scores.
5 words for you sweetheart;

I....HOPE....IT....FUCKING....RAINS

(Can you believe there is not one picture of the Wedding Singer's Glenn Guglia on the entire Internet?? Help a blogger out a little would ya www?)


10. The really really I mean REALLY pregnant chic.

This greedy broad is hoping to max out her maternity leave time by staying in work until the little fucker pokes his head and half his left arm out of her crotch. One request for you Goodyear, stay the fuck away from me. I don't need your water breaking on my hush puppies.





Hoping to hang in there for three more weeks.