Annoying People at Work

Between Office Space, The Office, and countless others, the chronicals of annoying co-workers have been well covered.
However, I can think of at least a few who have been overlooked.


1. The Chronic Over-explainer.

This blithering idiot probably takes 2,000 words to tell her kids how to tie their shoes. Never ask this person a question, avoid meetings held by them at all cost, and for fucks sake pray that you aren't on the distribution list for one of their 11 page e-mails.


2. The "I brought fish for lunch" Guy

Thanks jackass, the entire office now smells like Hilary Clinton's douch bag.
'ppreciate it!




Yes Hilly, it smells THAT bad!












3. The Microwave Hog

Here's an idea, if the cooking directions for your lunch read something like;
"Microwave on medium for 10 minutes. Turn and microwave on medium for 8 minutes. Remove from over, poke holes in platic. Microwave on high for 10 minutes. Turn and microwave on medium for 5 minutes."
Please leave it at home.



4. The Crazy "I bathe in cheap perfume" Lady

Cousin to "Fish Lunch" guy.
Unfortunately, this is never the hot girl who overly slathered her body in Victoria Secrets "lavender and lace" body lotion.
It is usually some retched looking beast-whore with the equivilant of homeless man urine saturating her every pore.




Nope, she's never one to overdue her delicious scent.














5. The "Groans loudly while he shits and/or pisses" Guy

Dude! Really! I know that last meeting was long, but internalize that shit would ya?



6. The "I'm entitled to 2 cig breaks an hour" Person

This cancer ridden asshole does less work than Christopher Reeve at a ping pong tournament.





"The ball goes back and forth and back and....whoops! I got it! I got...oh wait... You got it? Okay.
Nice hit Chan! Nice job!"









7. The Chronic Complainer

You know what, if you don't like it here then GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!



8. The Always Sick Person

Constantly snivling. Balled up tissues all over their desk. Lot's of complaining. LOUD coughing.
Start taking some vitimins for FUCK SAKE!!!



9. The Girl Who's Always Cold

Extra points if she's blasting her co-workers out with her space heater.
Friggid bitch.






"Ummmm Betsy...it's July."















10. The Elderly Person who is always spouting "old timey" wisdom.

Excuse me gramps, why do you think it is that you work under me despite being three times my age?
It's because you're stupid. Now go away.




Go change your diaper pops.