The Dont's of Posting Pictures to Dating Sites

When deciding a picture to post onto Yahoo singles, Hotornot, or Hotmanmeat.com, there are certain rules that need to be followed.
Here are some example of people who broke some of the cardinal rules:



The Sideways Picture

Are you too dumb to rotate the picture and save it before you post it?
This says one thing; You are too fucking dumb to be dating. Find a short bus and hop aboard!
















The Tiny Picture

WTF? Did an Oompa Loompa give you your camera for Christmas?



Missing a Major Portion of Face and/or Head

What the hell is wrong with the upper right portion of your head that you decided to post this picture?
Perhaps nothing, but you better believe that my imagination is running wild with images of a huge goider or massive shotgun wound.





















The Psychotic Smile

My God, please do not bludgeon me to death while I sleep!







Food Stuff on Face

Are you kidding me? You couldn't wipe the strawberry Bubbilicious off your fat face before posting your picture? You expect to get dates with this?



















Posing with Your Children and/or While Pregnant.

This "prize" is killing two birds with one stone. I've got 10 bucks that says her parents weren't too thrilled when they met her "baby daddy."

















Writing Self Serving Notes on Your Pictures

Ummmmm....I don't see too many brunettes walking around with blonde roots. 'Nuff said.


















Posting Pic Right After you Fell Asleep in a Tanning Booth

Looks like you leaned up against a bus in London with a "wet paint" sign. Dummy.


















The Extreme Close Up

Rap supergroup Onyx penned a ryhme about you.
BACK THE FUCK UP!












The Goofy Pose

This is why the terrorists hate us.






















Blurry Pictures

Siiiighhh....The Helen Keller school of photograghy is now in session














Scribbling Others Out of Picture

You can't crop the picture before you post it?
Also, seeing as you are the only one in the pic not crossed out like a kindergarten down syndrom drawing, the "Me" with the arrow is probably redundant.













Photoshopping Your Picture to Make Yourself Look Thinner

Let's look closely at the following two pictures. In the top one, her right arm appears to be missing? What up wit dat?
A look at the second picture gives us the answer. Notice how her right side looks like it was bitten by a shark, and how her left hip has a mysterious triangle chunk taken out of it?? I call shananigans! Going back to the first picture, we realize that she sacrificed her right arm in order to deceptively slim her torso. I love the smell of insecurity in the morning.





















Finally, last but certainly not least....




Pretending to be Something You're Not

Ummm....If you are a dude trying to pass yourself off as a girl, you might want to look into waxing your arms and shoulders.
And if you really are a girl? Well, I apologize......Sasquatch.